Ibu Durti...please don't run away!

Ibu Durti (left), holding her baby, stands with friends in front of a temporary house near the railway line in North Jakarta. Photo: Yovita Heni/Mercy Corps

It was the last day of the Mother Support Group Motivators' Training in Tanjung Priok, a subdistrict of North Jakarta that lay next to the Java Sea. Women from three adjoining neighborhoods, all of which lay along one of Jakarta's main railway lines, joined the training. There were nine women who are either pregnant or mothers with young babies — each of them training to be a lactation counselor through Mercy Corps.

They are all friends since they live near to each other.

Ibu Durti, 22 years old, was one of those training for this important work. On the last day of training, she showed up with her 14-day-old baby and a bag full of clothes. She looked very depressed.

”I want to run away. I can not stand it anymore,” Ibu Durti said sadly.

No one in the room understood why Ibu Durti wanted to run away from home; maybe she felt depressed because, yesterday, the temporary shelter she called her home was dismantled and hauled away by railway authorities who were cracking down on illegal settlers. Ibu Durti's friends took her bag and said, ”You could run away, but join this training first, okay? After it finishes, then you could leave.”

So Ibu Durti sat there as the training began.

Following the protocol of the Mother Support Group meeting, one of the trainees opened the meeting, asking the women how they felt today. One by one, they told their feelings. When it got to be Ibu Durti's turn, she cried as she talked.

”Last night, I fought with my husband," she explained. "I asked him to wake up, but he kept telling me, 'I have a fever'. Then he yelled at me and beat me. I just want to run away. I can’t stand it any longer.”

Other candidates felt so touched by Ibu Durti’s story — one even cried. Ibu Durti is also very worried about her baby.

”At birth, my baby was only five and a half pounds. But now she's only four and a half pounds," she described. "I wonder why she’s getting yellowish. And why is she sleeping all the time? I told my husband that I was worried, but he just ignored me.”

They asked why she thought it happened, and Ibu Durti said that, lately, she thinks her breastmilk is not enough. With all this recent stress and strife in her marriage, it's getting less. Everybody in the room was surprised and suddenly got silent.

But after a few moments of silence, one of the trainees said something abruptly.

”Remember the other day we learned why breastmilk won’t pour so much?" she asked the group. "One of the reasons is because Ibu Durti is crying, feeling sad all the time. Try to keep breastfeeding, Ibu Durti. Your breastmilk will come.”

Ibu Durti's Mother Support Group meets with their babies to discuss concerns and ideas. Photo: Yovita Heni/Mercy Corps

And so the session continued. Ibu Durti learned how to express breastmilk with the help of other trainees and a midwife who was trained by Mercy Corps to be a motivator and coach to young women like these. Ibu Durti then practice expressing breastmilk with her hand, storing it in a clean glass and giving it to her baby with a spoon.

The baby drank the milk voraciously.

Tears again fell down all over Ibu Durti’s face as she remembered the violence of the previous night. One of her fellow trainees tried to break the ice by asking, ”Who ever got yelled at by the husband?”

Sadly, all of them answered, "Me."

Ibu Durti stopped crying and listened to the stories her friends shared. Some of them told of ways to handle their angry husbands. Some of these tricks were funny, causing the whole group to laugh — including Ibu Durti.

”I cried last night because I didn't get much sleep. Now I’m crying again because all of you are so nice to me. Thank you so much,” she said as the training session ended.

And Ibu Durti went home, still uncertain, but knowing that her friends were supporting her.